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Yeah, I’m talking to you

When’s the last time you really looked at yourself in the mirror with more than a glance (and likely a muttering of some sort of negative remark)? Spending long periods of time lingering in front of a mirror is uncomfortable for most people. Aside from being viewed as pathologically narcissistic, gazing at yourself in the mirror is not likely to end well unless, of course, you are a highly evolved, self-confident being.

Now that’s what I call healthy internal dialogue!

What do you see when you look into a mirror? I tend to notice all my faults when faced with my reflection. Just yesterday, I caught a glimpse of my fog-induced frizzy hair in a storefront window and said to myself, “Oh my God! What the fuck’s the matter with your hair!?” Now, really, is that any way to talk to anyone? Even someone with ridiculous hair? No, of course not, yet many of us do it all the time and it’s time to make a change.

Reworking our self-perceptions

I finally tired of the self-inflicted cruelty and decided to break off the relationship with my Inner Bully. I sent her down the river. Ta-ta and good riddance, Babe—it’s over. I’m done.

Sure, it’s taken some work to keep Inner Bully at bay as old habits are hard to break, but after some positive self-talk and a few gentle reminders it has become a new habit to live in a cruelty-free zone.  Now when I look in the mirror and see all that frizzy, flat, and puffy-in-all-the-wrong-places hair, I choose to look at my reflection with deep compassion. After all, my poor hair can’t help it. So I do what I would do for any other helpless being—I give a soft smile and call in the reinforcements!

It’s all about the accessories

Hair ties, barrettes, scarves, hats, and fun flashy pins are all fabulous props that can rescue even the most tragic hair. The other really awesome thing about hair accessories is that they can turn a thirty-minute blow-dry session into a five-minute accessory splash.

Boom!

Pro hair wanglers know how to work a bad hair day.

Sometimes smoke and mirrors aren’t such a bad idea. Maybe that’s why Jackie O. wore those veiled hats so often–she knew how to rock a bad hair day. And, yes, there will always be bad hair days—they never seem to go away—the key is to letting your hair know who’s in control.

 When we start having fun with what we have there becomes little room for self-criticism 

This is about working our assets, not changing the structure. The structure is strong and intact, it just needs . . . well, a little polish perhaps. A little polish to give that reflection some shine factor. Take a few moments to linger in front of the mirror for longer than is naturally comfortable. Check out your hair, your eyebrows, your lipstick, your fingernails. What’s glaring back at you that you don’t like anymore? What’s no longer working?

 Name it and change it

• Are your cuticles looking ragged? Pick up the phone and make an appointment for a manicure.
• Is you hair lacking shine or body? Yep, pick up the phone and call your stylist (Don’t have one? Get one!)
• How are your eyebrows? Would they benefit from a little pencil to fill in the gaps? Or a wax to reshape them? Shapely brows are a beautiful frame for your beautiful eyes.
• Maybe you’ve been wearing the same color lipstick for a couple of decades now. Is it still working for you? Or is time to head the cosmetic counter for a little fun?
• Throw on some outrageous earrings or an over-sized necklace.
• What about adding a punch of sparkly blue eyeliner to your otherwise natural look?
• A bright orange scarf tossed around your neck will give any simple outfit a hit of glam. Go for it!
• Going for a pedi? Why not choose a deep, dark blue for those freshly groomed toes?

The possibilities are endless. Have a little fun—you’re gorgeous and totally worth the effort!

What are you going to rework this week when you look in the mirror?